The amazing thing about the title of this post is that I often find myself being the complete opposite, not because I don't want to be level headed or sensible....I would love to be that way always. Both are amazing attributes to have as an individual, and I personally am jealous (yes...another quality I am not proud of.) Of those individuals who have these qualities all of the time. I suppose one could call me 'hot headed' though not easily angered. I am the sort of person who can remain calm on the outside and quietly come to a boil and be the unstoppable angry person...the "tiger by the tail" syndrome. I have been trying to overcome this quality that I seem to shine at.... after all I have four amazing children that have been raised the opposite of how I react and they have done a fabulous job at maintaining their beautiful personalities of the peace makers.... the gentle souls. (Really, I don't mean this sarcastically at all. They are all so loving and patient.)
So in today's world how are we able to teach and encourage our children to be kind hearted, level headed, strong individuals who demand respect, and kindness in turn? How can we encourage them not to let people walk all over them, or say things to them that obviously cut, in a passive way that does not result in them allowing others to treat them like garbage? WOW, does that task even seem possible?
This weekend I was put in a lose lose situation... You ask...How can one be put in this sort of situation, and still want to participate? This is easy...I was unaware of the Murphy's law that was attached to the entire event... AND I was a Mama protecting her 'Cubs'.
I think I had shared an event where my son had dealt with a neighborhood bully a few months back. Apparently, this bully has parents who think discipline is optional. My beautiful 11 year old son was having a birthday party over the weekend. It was exciting because when sports are in full swing the boys don't have a lot of time to just hang out and have fun....SO...needless to say...we do not have friends over very often for him to do 'boy things' with. Anyway, the boys were outside, with my younger daughter, and the neighbor girl when the neighborhood bully and his friends started bugging them. I had everyone of the kids staying at my home come in and tell me that their were problems with these other boys. I told them to ignore them and to stay away.... Easier said than done when the bullies are following them and hanging on the street by our house calling them cuss words.
So one thing lead to another, and apparently the situation outside had escalated into needing an intervention. Tabitha and her friend Kayla went out to ask the boys that are their age to stop bullying the kids so that parents didn't have to get involved. Apparently, these bullies decided they would be in less trouble if they were the ones tattling... Seriously. So one of them ran right in to get the original bully's mother. She came out and proceeded in cussing at all of the children outside. Now, I will be the first to say, I am not perfect, my children aren't perfect, my children will do naughty things, BUT they weren't doing anything wrong this night. They were trying to have a birthday party...night games....minus the bullying. All of the little boys, and the neighbor girl were terrified over this woman...thinking that they had done something wrong. After all she is an adult, she was yelling, cussing and telling them all to stay right there. She was wrong...if she believed there was a problem she should have come to me. My youngest daughter and one of my sons friends were terrified and despite her yelling ran into the house to get me.
Now, I thought I was going into a situation with someone with two sense.... I had on no shoes and my Jammie's.... completely unprepared for what was about to happen. Before I walked out the door, my Natalie said to me..."Mom....stay calm and don't cuss at her. It will embarrass Angelo." It's true.... my daughter knows her Mommy oh too well! I have a mouth like a sailor and when my children are involved I become aggressively boisterous..... Again, not something I am proud of....BUT I walked out to the front yard, head held high, fully determined to keep calm....to remain sensible and level headed. Which I did an amazingly perfect job of.....no Hell's, damns, or anything colorful....Until she punched me. I had gone out there and asked her if she could refrain from cussing at the young children. I asked her if she could keep her son under control and away from the boys and girls that are a good 4-5 years younger than him.... I asked her to have him stop referring to them as Mother F*****Er's.... Which set off this already unstable woman. She proceeded in telling me that her son never cusses... Snotty I said She had better keep a better eye on him... it was wrong I know I should have remained completely unchildish. I just couldn't help it with her ranting and flailing in my yard. She then turned and made the most ignorant remark she could possibly make....and got into my 14 year olds face, who then asked if she had indeed said what she had obviously said. The woman was almost nose to nose with her and replied "I said it." Tabitha....hit her in the mouth. I was in shock! Everyone was in shock...I had no idea what to do and how to handle the situation from that moment. I yelled, "Don't you hit my daughter." The woman looked at me and punched Tabi in the mouth. I ran to get in the middle so she couldn't hurt my baby anymore than she had.....Keep in mind I was trying to stay calm and the mature one in the whole matter.... The woman proceeded in punching me in the face. It all happened so quickly. She hit me a few times and latched on to my hair. She pulled a couple of handfuls of hair from my head and kicked and tackled me to the ground. She is a much larger lady than I am and I couldn't do much else than struggle beneath her weight...which makes me feel pretty silly too. Trying to get her to let go of my hair I grabbed her forearm and squeezed it with my nails.....she pulled harder. I grabbed the front of her shirt thinking if I tear it she won't want to be half naked in front of all the kids....YES...the kids were still watching all of this nightmare..... Thank goodness a few of the kids ran off to find Tony, who did pull her off of me. Thank goodness.... And he did call the Police! Again, thank goodness!
In the end....Tabitha got a ticket. Which I can see...she shouldn't have hit the woman. After the comment she made...I was glad that she had. The best reason for a ticket if you ask me. The woman obviously received her own disorderly conduct citation....BUT I did as well.....I was attacked in my own front yard while trying to protect my children from an unstable lady...I was given a citation because I left finger nail marks on her arm in self defense.
In today's society how are we supposed to teach that bullying is wrong and that you shouldn't let people attack you if you get into trouble for defending yourself on your own property. Doesn't this example show that no one cares who is right or wrong? Isn't this a prime example of why bullied kids...or adults for that matter....keep it to themselves? Allow it to continue? I am not saying this is the right way to deal with it.... physical violence is never a good thing..... But then what do not defend yourself no matter how threatened you feel?
Again...I am proud of Tabitha for standing up for herself.... No one should be talked to the way she was.... An adult has no right to attack a child the way that woman did.... Kids shouldn't have to be bullied by other children.... And no one should be in trouble for defending themselves and their family on their own property which is suppose to be their safe territory!
